These are the two greatest emotions coursing throughout my body today. It's interesting how you can be experiencing such a polar difference of emotion at the same time.
Thankfully, Joy is the dominant one. There is an overwhelming sense of Joy in my soul these past nine days. God has granted Amber and I one of THE greatest earthly gifts we could ever receive: a child. Layla Grace Floyd was born at 6:09 am on July 27th, 2012. She was 6lbs, 15.8oz and 20.25" long. A strong healthy baby that quickly made her appearance a full week and a half early.
I could not ask for a better gift. Everyone talks about the love a parent feels for their child. But AS a child, you never can fully understand it. Let me tell you right now, the second that baby comes, there is an immediate love that comes from somewhere deep inside, like a geyser you didn't see coming. THEN, as every single day, hour, minute passes, that love continues to grown. I never thought that I could love this Gift from God as much as I do. Every little thing that she does makes me thankful. She is perfect.
Now the mother of our child, she deserves a whole part on her own. My wife is THE strongest woman I know. No gross details, but she proved her metal while in labor, and she did so without medication, just like we wanted. Labor went unbelievably fast, and she did an absolutely amazing job. Nothing can match the joy on her face after seeing her hold our little one.
Side note-As a husband, I have never wanted to rescue my wife more than when she was screaming in pain during those contractions. You're talking about trying to hold back cries with her because I couldn't do anything to help ease the pain. Actually, I was causing her MORE pain because I was getting her through those contractions and especially during the push phase. HOLY. GEEZ.
And Amber has been crazy patient with Layla and I. My wife is an amazing woman. If I was in her shoes, I couldn't handle it all. But she takes it all in stride, and I do what I can to help her make things as easy as possible. She's going to be a superb mother. I am excited beyond belief that I get to experience and entirely new side of my spouse. It's going to make life that much more amazing, and I'm thankful I get to live it out with her.
Totally changing subjects now.
We've all been told never to hate. That hate is such a strong word, and that we rarely mean it when we say it. But I can tell you right now, today hate consumed me for a while. It's a consuming emotion, isn't it? And unfortunately, it tends to have a sweet taste, which makes it harder to get rid of.
I was "terminated" from my previous job a couple of weeks ago. Though their reason was different, I know it was really because my bosses and I weren't compatible at ALL, and they were extremely antsy about the fact that I would be taking a whole week off once Layla was born. So what do they do? They cut me off two weeks before they KNOW my baby will be born.
Well a series of emails, no responses, and a legal letter later, I am consumed with hate. When this all started, it was anger. Pissed off because they knew what they were doing was wrong, but they did it anyways. Then they stopped corresponding altogether. Instead of letting me know via phone if I was fired, they sent an email. Then sent an email saying they're going to mail my check and the rest of my personals. THEN they won't respond to my emails about a termination letter, ONLY to get a legal letter saying that the client (my previous employers) have refused to give me one.
I know it's because they're feeling guilty, ashamed, maybe even afraid. That doesn't justify their actions, but it enrages me. They are cowardly. That's all there is to it.
Now what's really going to get your goat is this: the reason why it has turned to hate is because I have the means for retaliation. I have the power to bring down about every means of their online presence. It is within my abilities to eliminate it. The idiots that are my former employers haven't thought about changing the password. Seriously? That's why this is consuming me. Satan plays at my heartstrings. I've been so close to going thru with it. It gnaws at me. Constantly. And that just feeds the hate. Their immaturity fuels my desire for retribution. Who wouldn't want that? I do. So badly.
It's so UnChristian. And I know this. It's something I need to let God rip from me, but I don't want it go away. It's the Fallen Nature that wants that revenge, that final blow. And it sucks. Terribly.
So what I ask is that everyone who reads this, to pray for me. Pray that God will take this from me. That the Joy of having a child in my life will help to erase the Hate that has filled me.
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Thankfully, Joy is the dominant one. There is an overwhelming sense of Joy in my soul these past nine days. God has granted Amber and I one of THE greatest earthly gifts we could ever receive: a child. Layla Grace Floyd was born at 6:09 am on July 27th, 2012. She was 6lbs, 15.8oz and 20.25" long. A strong healthy baby that quickly made her appearance a full week and a half early.
I could not ask for a better gift. Everyone talks about the love a parent feels for their child. But AS a child, you never can fully understand it. Let me tell you right now, the second that baby comes, there is an immediate love that comes from somewhere deep inside, like a geyser you didn't see coming. THEN, as every single day, hour, minute passes, that love continues to grown. I never thought that I could love this Gift from God as much as I do. Every little thing that she does makes me thankful. She is perfect.
Now the mother of our child, she deserves a whole part on her own. My wife is THE strongest woman I know. No gross details, but she proved her metal while in labor, and she did so without medication, just like we wanted. Labor went unbelievably fast, and she did an absolutely amazing job. Nothing can match the joy on her face after seeing her hold our little one.
Side note-As a husband, I have never wanted to rescue my wife more than when she was screaming in pain during those contractions. You're talking about trying to hold back cries with her because I couldn't do anything to help ease the pain. Actually, I was causing her MORE pain because I was getting her through those contractions and especially during the push phase. HOLY. GEEZ.
And Amber has been crazy patient with Layla and I. My wife is an amazing woman. If I was in her shoes, I couldn't handle it all. But she takes it all in stride, and I do what I can to help her make things as easy as possible. She's going to be a superb mother. I am excited beyond belief that I get to experience and entirely new side of my spouse. It's going to make life that much more amazing, and I'm thankful I get to live it out with her.
Totally changing subjects now.
We've all been told never to hate. That hate is such a strong word, and that we rarely mean it when we say it. But I can tell you right now, today hate consumed me for a while. It's a consuming emotion, isn't it? And unfortunately, it tends to have a sweet taste, which makes it harder to get rid of.
I was "terminated" from my previous job a couple of weeks ago. Though their reason was different, I know it was really because my bosses and I weren't compatible at ALL, and they were extremely antsy about the fact that I would be taking a whole week off once Layla was born. So what do they do? They cut me off two weeks before they KNOW my baby will be born.
Well a series of emails, no responses, and a legal letter later, I am consumed with hate. When this all started, it was anger. Pissed off because they knew what they were doing was wrong, but they did it anyways. Then they stopped corresponding altogether. Instead of letting me know via phone if I was fired, they sent an email. Then sent an email saying they're going to mail my check and the rest of my personals. THEN they won't respond to my emails about a termination letter, ONLY to get a legal letter saying that the client (my previous employers) have refused to give me one.
I know it's because they're feeling guilty, ashamed, maybe even afraid. That doesn't justify their actions, but it enrages me. They are cowardly. That's all there is to it.
Now what's really going to get your goat is this: the reason why it has turned to hate is because I have the means for retaliation. I have the power to bring down about every means of their online presence. It is within my abilities to eliminate it. The idiots that are my former employers haven't thought about changing the password. Seriously? That's why this is consuming me. Satan plays at my heartstrings. I've been so close to going thru with it. It gnaws at me. Constantly. And that just feeds the hate. Their immaturity fuels my desire for retribution. Who wouldn't want that? I do. So badly.
It's so UnChristian. And I know this. It's something I need to let God rip from me, but I don't want it go away. It's the Fallen Nature that wants that revenge, that final blow. And it sucks. Terribly.
So what I ask is that everyone who reads this, to pray for me. Pray that God will take this from me. That the Joy of having a child in my life will help to erase the Hate that has filled me.
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
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