Testing Testing 1 2 3

Two posts ago I briefly recapped my relationship with God through the last half of 2012. A lot of questioning. A LOT of doubting. And I've been getting better at not questioning, filling it instead with praying. Instead of wondering why, I'm trying to focus on my North Star to guide me. It's not easy for me. It never has. 

Friday we were at a gender reveal party for the youth pastor of our church (they're having a boy btw, super stoked for them!). But during this party, the head pastor and I were sitting next to each other and he asked how I was doing. Now, Pastor Bill is one of those guys who would really love to hear what is reallllly going on, how you are really doing. Whether or not he was expecting if from me, I have no idea. But he got it. 

I explained a little about how my last year was going with God. How every storm I faced, I doubted that God knew short-term what He was doing. I knew He had a plan for long-term (years down the road), but doubted his short game strategy. THEN, after the storm lifted, how He knew all along. Wash, Rinse, Repeat. That cycle was constant. How was I not getting it through my head that He is in control? Why couldn't I trust God when He clearly, repeatedly, showed Himself to me? 

Pastor Bill interrupted me then. He said he was listening to a sermon years ago, pretty much about what was going on in my life. The point the speaker made was that God will give us the same test over and over and over again until we pass. That resounded in my head: God will give us the same test over and over and over again until we pass. 

It's been stuck in my head since Friday. That phrase has made me apologize to a dear friend for my attitude towards his situation (inadvertently being the holier-than-thou Christian). It has made me feel broken. It has made me feel stupid. And it has forced me to realize that my approach is STILL wrong. 

You want to be angry at a God who would make you go through the same thing over and over again, but, now especially as a parent, I can see why He would do it. Loving your child is also teaching them. Usually, when the child sees the consequences of a certain action, they stop. But some kids are.....stubborn? Slower? It may take a few times, but eventually they'll learn their lesson. God is the exact same way. Out of love He teaches us. And He'll give us the same test until we pass, until we learn. It can be as simple as that. 

I want to say that this will cause me to "pass" right away. But I'm one of those stubborn children. And a little slow. My wife jabbed at me to "get it through my head." I'm definitely working on it. Pray for me please. For courage, strength, consistency, wisdom. Anything that'll get me that passing grade ;)

Prayers:

1) One of the ladies in our Life Group asked us to pray for her school. Lot of troubled family situations there. Pray for a peace to reside over all the teachers there, and strength for her to be able to do the right thing with the situations that are presented to her. 

May the peace that surpasses all understanding guard your heart and minds through Christ Jesus

Amen

Family

This post might be short. But it's a point that has been bugging me for some reason. And I want to get it out, and onto this blog. So hear me out, even if you don't think this applies to you.

Family is everything. If I could tell someone one thing, it would be that. The family is the nucleus of civilization. I'm going Aristotle on you guys. Were it not for the family, I wouldn't be typing this out. It's the basis from which we began. Take it all the way back to Adam. He was alone. God saw that it wasn't good for him to be, so he created Eve. Boom, first family. I mean, God created the entire universe, day, night, earth, water, land, plants, animals, man. Then a family. If that's not an indication of the importance of the family, I don't know what is.

I place family higher than everything but God. I am a huge believer in family before other people. If I had a choice between choosing a friend or family, I'll pick family every time. I love being a part of a family. God has blessed me not only with amazing parents and a fantastic sister, and not only with amazing in-laws, but with a family to call my own. And being a father has only strengthened the bonds I have with all my family. Because God has stressed upon me the importance of it.

Now I understand that MANY of my readers don't have what God has blessed me with. Many of you have broken homes. Some of you have been abandoned by your biological family. Maybe you've been exiled in a sense. Or perhaps they simply aren't there for you. Let me tell you something: You have a family. Friends can be a better family than your biological family ever could have been. Mentors can be family. If you're a Christian, you have an entire world's full of family. And even if you're not a Christian, there are always some humble enough ones to be more than willing to take you in. Don't be put down by those Christians who judge. Find the ones that Love instead. There will always be people you can run to. Even if you feel there isn't.

Work on your family this week. Tell them that one thing that's been holding you back. Seek out someone when you feel lonely and lost. Someone you trust. Build/Renew/Develop a relationship with someone so you can have a family. I promise you it will improve your life, someway, somehow.


"May the peace of God, which passes all understanding, guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Hi-A-Tus

It's crazy to think that my last blog post was December 2nd. I honestly thought I had at least done a post for the New Year. Welp, turns out I was wrong. Oh well. Forgive me my followers. For this post, I simply want to review 2012 and maybe a tiny bit more.

If there's one thing I have learned over the last year, it's that God is in control. That doesn't mean that I've trusted him the whole time. And it certainly doesn't mean that we've had the strongest relationship. The last half of the year was extremely rough for my walk with God. After all, if God was a Good God, why would he let me go through the unreal amount of stress I faced for over four months? Why would he make us use all of our savings that my wife worked so hard for? Why this, Why that?

You want to know MY answer: I don't know. I don't know why God made me go through that. Whether it's a lack of intelligence or because God hasn't revealed it to me, I honestly don't know the reason for that storm. My wife said that having me home those first four months really helped her cope with being a new mom. Could that be the reason? It's certainly possible. And while I am more than grateful that I got to watch my daughter grow those four months, there's something inside of me that says that wasn't the reason, that there is something greater at work.

The point is, just recently I have very slowly moved out of the WHY stage. I think too often we as Christians focus on the WHY of the storm. When we are facing adversity we feel the need to know why. It's human nature; logic demands a reason. But I think our mindset should instead focus on battling through the storm. If we focused our faith and trust in God, we will forget the why, and simply rely on him and use his help to get us through it....Wait, I said simply. It's never simple. Relying on God takes strength. Courage. Faith. In a storm, those don't come easily. Which again calls for a focused mind on God.

So that's where I am at this point of the new year. I am trying to focus my mind on God. Not concerning myself with the why's, they'll reveal themselves to me in time. I know this won't be easy. God and I have a lot of catching up to do. And I'm thankful for the people who listen (well....read) this blog. It encourages me when I see a lot of people looking at my posts. It means I'm being heard.

Prayer Requests & Praises:
With every post, I want to share at least a few prayer requests and praises, both personal and from friends/family/anyone who wants their requests to be made known. So here we go!

Prayer:
1) I have a friend who is in a very dark place in his life. It has made him question every single thing he could ever have faith in. And so my request is that you all simply pray for him. As hard and mightily as you can, and that God can reach him and wrap him in light. You are being heard friend.

2) Pray for my future. Right now there's a slight chance my job may not exist for too much longer, and I don't have another one lined up. Either way by Mid-May/June, my job ends for the summer. So pray that I can either find a job or that business will really start cranking up.

Praise:
1) There is a little girl, Aubree Shaw, whose parents I used to go to church with. She has been diagnosed with a very rare disorder that basically doesn't allow her rib-cage to grow fast enough with the rest of her body. She has to have surgery every 6 months to expand her rib-cage. Awful awful thing.

BUT! She just got released today from the hospital! She's definitely improving and healing! It's such a heartbreaking story but God has definitely been through the entire thing. So praises that she's recovering and doing great!


This is my new ending quote for the year, and I think it's more than befitting of my current situation:


"May the peace of God, which passes all understanding, guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Amen.