Monday 19 November 2012

The Grace of God

I would start this post out by quoting some super cheesy line or scripture about how God provides to those who are faithful, and how that's been the story of these past (almost) four months. But that wouldn't be true. While God has provided, I definitely haven't always been faithful. There were several points where I severely questioned God's plan. After all, once you've applied to countless jobs, only to have two respond, and both just simply not contact you back, you start to lose hope.

I'm not saying that I was turning away from God. I wasn't questioning my salvation or anything (already been through that stage of my faith). It was simply that I wasn't looking towards Him, running after Him. At times, it came down to wondering if God was really providing. Did God's Plan really involve me going through all this junk? Did God even have  a plan for me? I remember there was one day where I asked why He would put my family through this, and why wasn't He showing His Mercy and Grace that I've so often seen before? Was He going to provide?

The answer came often enough, but not directly from God. God helped me find peace through my wife and my child. My wife constantly reminded me that God has provided for us countless times in the short period we've been married. Thankfully, Amber had been able to save up enough money that we have been able to sustain ourselves off of it for these past four months. My wife prayed for me when I was really down and hurting. She would help me see God when I couldn't.

And not to mention my Laylabug. This gift from God has kept me pushing. Kept me trying. And the best part about these past four months: I got to be there for my little girl. Every day. I haven't missed her first laugh. Her first smile. I have been able to see my child grow up from the day she was born. That in itself is a rarity that few fathers have the privilege of having.

God has also provided in other ways. While business isn't "booming," it has picked up. Any money made, no matter how little, is money, right? And with this new job, I can still freelance, meaning I could help make up my time lost. Thank God for that! We also have family that have been more than willing to help us out. We weren't handed out freebies mind you, I've worked for it, and so has Amber. But I thank God for family.

All of this leads up to my title: The Grace of God. I'm not on a mountain right now. Am I thankful for this job? Absolutely, 1000000% But these past four months have drained our savings. There's the ever so slight chance that this job won't be long-term. God and I have some patching up to do. I haven't been faithful to Him because I was angry and frustrated at Him. I'm still in a valley. But God's Grace redeems me. He forgives me for how I've acted towards Him. By His Grace, He will continue to redeem me. By providing these four months, He has shown His Grace, every single day. And I thank Him for it.

I still need prayers. We always need prayer. Make it sincere. Pray for our country, its future, our future as a free people. Pray that God works in us.

By His Grace, and only by His Grace.


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