Bringing in the New Year

Yes, I know it's not New Year's day. But hey, it's close enough right? I can honestly say that the whole New Year's hoopla has never really appealed to me. I understood its significance to people, but that usually fades away a few weeks after. I've never made a new year's resolution, and only these past two have I had someone to kiss at midnight.
But THIS New Year's had a lot of special significance for me:
First, I have a year long goal: stay steady with the Love Dare book my wife got me. YES, the one from Fireproof. And NO, our marriage is in no way in the ruts or rocky. In fact, it's amazing. It's just something my wonderful wife thought would be good for me to do, and I'm VERY excited to keep with it. It's my daily devotion, and has a love dare that I'm to carry out each week for a year. Any opportunity to deepen my marriage and strengthen the love I have with my wife, I will gladly accept. Like I said, I'm VERY excited to delve into this.
B, I have a "fitness" goal: To lose my stomach. I don't want 300 style abs, I just don't want to have a stomach poochin' out. And I want this flat stomach by the time our baby arrives (the pelican is due August 7th by the way). Feasible? Absolutely. It just means a physical and nutritional routine that I cannot deviate from at all. That's gonna be harder for me than anything else, but hey, I think I've got the motivation to tackle this. I just have to do it!
Charlie, there's a job goal: To have at LEAST 25% of the total income that I make to be from freelancing. That's everything freelance; graphic design, photography, (hopefully) web design, anything art related. It's really been on my heart to find a job that I will love doing, and something that can provide more than enough for my family. And as scary as it sounds, freelancing is one of those routes. There's money in the profession I currently find myself in, I just have to go after it, market myself, hone my skills, and learn from those who have succeeded. There's nothing more exciting to me than being able to create design, to be able to be with my wife and my child whenever I can working from home, and to be free in the things that I want to pursue. That is my American Dream.

Then as I was thinking about these goals before the end of 2011, a thought smashed into me: Not only will I have a baby (hoping for a girl, I'll take either), but he/she will be 5 MONTHS OLD. Holy. Moses. I had already gotten through the fact that I would have a kid, that was easy. But the thought that our little boy/girl would be 5 months old just rocked my world for a minute. I couldn't believe it. I don't want to believe it. haha. My father instincts (I guess most men are hardwired with them) kicked in. How could our kid be 5 months old by the end of next year? That's insane!
I don't know why these thoughts kept running around in my head. It's not like I already have the baby sleeping in the other room, thinking about how they are growing up. This baby is still in my wife! I guess I'm just that excited to be a father. And that terrified. I'm going to be THAT dad for sure. But we have excellent friends, an excellent church, a family 40 minutes away (experienced with grandchildren) and another family 3.5 hours away (very eagerly awaiting to gain experience with grandchildren). God can and will take care of us. I have literally no doubt about that. I am so firmly resolved in taking care of my family that I don't think even God could change my mind. Not that He would. But still..haha.
The new year is my chance. Not to wipe the slate clean, but to further engrave every bit of advice, experience, and love into what I have now. Adding a new layer, so to speak. I'm excited beyond belief. And I cannot imagine ever starting a new year without my wife. She's keeping my life in check, and my head on my shoulders. She's my heartbeat, God is my every breath. Without her, I wouldn't be the father I'm going to be....if that makes sense. And without Him, I wouldn't have met my wife, and I wouldn't be filled with grace.
Praise be to God. Have an amazing New Year my friends and family.

7 Weeks

Today I found out that our baby is the size of a blueberry. Oddly enough, as my wife was telling me this, she was eating blueberry yogurt. As of right now, the baby resembles very little of what it will develop into, yet it has a heart, spine, partially developed lungs and soon will be able to hear vibrations, though it's ears aren't quite complete yet. 

I'm explaining this simply because one thing has been on my mind since the moment I first found out that we are expecting: even though this fetus is completely dependent on my wife for its survival, and even though it doesn't resemble a human at all, IT IS ALIVE. Alive in every literal and figurative meaning of the word. It is a living being inside the womb of my wife. It is growing, developing, eating. There's even research that says babies (much further along than ours) go into REM sleep, meaning that they dream. How much more alive can you get than DREAMING? 

Anyone who says that in any stage a fetus is not alive is trying to justify their own fears for whatever reasons. No amount of doctorates or scientific research can deny that at the moment of conception, a new life begins. And no amount of higher education or "enlightenment" can justify saying that at any moment in time that life growing inside of you isn't a life. 

My baby is life. Life given graciously by God. I already love it more than I thought I could love my child. I already fear for it, have cried over it, and laughed over it. Soon I will get to talk to it. And I WILL talk to it. About everything. You cannot tell me that I'm doing all of these things to something that isn't a life, that isn't alive. My baby is alive and growing.

Jeremiah 1:5

"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."

It's a verse we all know, even if we don't know where it is. It's a verse that now has an unreal meaning to me. This verse reveals God's omnipotence, His omnipresence, AND His Omniscience. It shows that He is in control, and that He is Control. He has chosen to bless Amber and I with this precious life that He created. And He already has a plan for him/her. 

This is our LIVING baby. And we serve a LIVING God.  

It Begins

There are only a few moments in the short time I have been on this Earth that have completely flipped my life. Honestly I can only think of two before now. First, obviously, is accepting Christ as my Savior on August 18th, 1998. Next is July 10th, 2011. Yes, that's the day I was given the highest honor as the husband to the most amazing woman in the world, Amber Nicole (now)Floyd.

While those two moments in time change your life in multitudes of ways, nothing quite prepares you for the moment when your wife comes out of the bathroom saying, "baabbbbbbe" in that voice that tells you something's not quite right. As I got off the couch and headed back there with quite some speed, she was staring intently at a pink stick. Immediately, my brain started pumping 101mph. The only thing my brain was computing was "No way. No way!"

Well, yes way. After taking another test (and after taking one myself just in case it was a cheapo pregnancy test), it was undeniably clear that we were pregnant. I have never cried, laughed, cried, smiled, cried, and laughed so much in my life. The next hour was full of prayer, talking about the future, how we should tell both of our parents, and a million other things.

The implications of those two tests rocked the foundations of every single 'plan' that I had for the next 1-2 years of our lives. A majority of them have crumbled. Some survive, but changes are being applied in the repairs. And of course, MANY are newly constructed. These past three weeks have become the most stressful, exciting, happy, and determined weeks of my life. God has DAILY reminded me of my duties. He has DAILY reminded me that it's HIS plan that is in effect, not mine.

The Art of Becoming a Dad. Maybe I'll make it a book. It'd always have to be updated, but hey, I could do that. In 8 months I will have a child in my arms, a new life given to my wife and I by God. So here we go!